How does your birth history affect you today?

February 18, 2010 at 2:44 am Leave a comment

Do you know the facts and details of your own birth, which can leave lasting imprints?  Have you ever asked your mother about it? Most parents do not know the value of learning about their own birth story and being able to share it in a relaxed open way! Attachment researchers, under the direction of Dr. Mary Main, discovered when giving the “The Adult Attachment Interview”, that if expectant parents could “coherently” tell their own birth story, no matter what the circumstances, then there was over an 80% chance that their children would become securely attached. Secure attachment is the most important goal of the first year of life, when the bonded baby is able to feel a sense of trust with his parents.  I normally ask my expectant clients to find out their own birth history, so that we can help integrate this important first moment in their own lives. Birth patterning and early parenting programming can repeat itself, unless it is resolved. This important information informs you about your original core patterning which can be unconsciously repeated in the next generation unless you examine it consciously.

  What do you need to know about your birth?

  • Were you a wanted baby? At conception? At birth?
  • Did your mother have any prior miscarriages or abortions?
  • Were there any unusual pre-birth or post- birth hospitalizations?
  • What drugs were used during delivery?
  • Were you born by normal birth or caesarean section?
  • Were there any birthing traumas? (cord around neck, breech? forceps?)
  • What was your bonding and attachment history with your parents?
  • Did your mother experience post partum depression?

Sometimes getting this information can be emotionally charged, both for you and your mother.  Be gentle with yourself and with your mother as she was doing the best that she could under the circumstances.  After you gather this information, reflect on it.  What patterns may be emotionally embedded?  Did you experience early fear or trauma?  Think about how these feelings may be affecting you own outlook as a person and a parent.  If strong feelings arise, you may need to talk about these issues with a trained professional.

Conscious parenting informs you so that you can heal your past to provide more optimal birthing and parenting conditions.

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