Do you know the facts and details of your own birth, which can leave lasting imprints? Have you ever asked your mother about it? Most parents do not know the value of learning about their own birth story and being able to share it in a relaxed open way! Attachment researchers, under the direction of Dr. Mary Main, discovered when giving the “The Adult Attachment Interview”, that if expectant parents could “coherently” tell their own birth story, no matter what the circumstances, then there was over an 80% chance that their children would become securely attached. Secure attachment is the most important goal of the first year of life, when the bonded baby is able to feel a sense of trust with his parents. I normally ask my expectant clients to find out their own birth history, so that we can help integrate this important first moment in their own lives. Birth patterning and early parenting programming can repeat itself, unless it is resolved. This important information informs you about your original core patterning which can be unconsciously repeated in the next generation unless you examine it consciously.
What do you need to know about your birth?
- Were you a wanted baby? At conception? At birth?
- Did your mother have any prior miscarriages or abortions?
- Were there any unusual pre-birth or post- birth hospitalizations?
- What drugs were used during delivery?
- Were you born by normal birth or caesarean section?
- Were there any birthing traumas? (cord around neck, breech? forceps?)
- What was your bonding and attachment history with your parents?
- Did your mother experience post partum depression?
Sometimes getting this information can be emotionally charged, both for you and your mother. Be gentle with yourself and with your mother as she was doing the best that she could under the circumstances. After you gather this information, reflect on it. What patterns may be emotionally embedded? Did you experience early fear or trauma? Think about how these feelings may be affecting you own outlook as a person and a parent. If strong feelings arise, you may need to talk about these issues with a trained professional.
Conscious parenting informs you so that you can heal your past to provide more optimal birthing and parenting conditions.
February 18, 2010 at 2:44 am
This video reminds us of the complete joy that babies experience and can share with us.
February 4, 2010 at 12:55 am
Have you ever felt that something has greatly affected the course of your life, but you don’t know what it is? You may find an answer by learning about your birth experience.
From early childhood on, I was convinced that I was adopted, although looked exactly like my dad, with no rational basis for this view. My awareness of lifelong feelings of abandonment with a strong sense of not really belonging to my real parents eventually led me to my own field of prenatal and perinatal psychology. In my doctoral program, when asked to get my birth history, the light went on. I had a difficult birth and was separated from my mother with a six week hospital stay. This important fact was never discussed with me. There had been no opportunity to bond with my own parents or them to me, which is why we all felt like strangers to each other. No repairs were ever made which could have saved me from unnecessary imbedded anxiety. Resolving these early issues over time gave me the gift of self compassion. Also, my nervous system relaxed for the first time in my life. The events that surrounded my birth had been completely overwhelming. I was not given the opportunity to slow down and to integrate my earliest experiences until I was an adult. The baby part of me could finally feel loved and wanted by my adult self.
Being born should be one of the greatest moments in life. If you have a traumatic beginning, full of interventions and interruptions, there may be stored emotional wounding until it can be resolved. Many of us experience a traumatic birth, which may or may not have been preventable.
My greatest joy is that now I help babies, kids and adults heal from their gestational, birth and early life traumatic imprinting. I want everybody to feel be freed of early shock and trauma that they received. This process of repair is an easy one with infants but more therapeutic remediation is required with adults. You can have the gift of a great start in life with re-patterning and choice.
February 4, 2010 at 12:28 am
Have you ever felt that something has greatly affected the course of your life, but you don’t know what it is? You may find an answer by learning about your birth experience.
